POET LAUREATESS
“I
see her as a kind
of Hammer Films poet”
—Philip Larkin
Letter to Judy Egerton
10 June 1960
of Hammer Films poet”
—Philip Larkin
Letter to Judy Egerton
10 June 1960
__________________
It wasn’t pretty—
It was tres messy
And rather bloody….
But it had—
To be done and
That’s what I did…
I killed Big Daddy—
Fucking there in the
Old cold graveyard
___________________
I waited behind—
A tilting old gravestone
As he fucked away
I even invited—
Assia to come and
Visit that weekend
The Yorkshire prick—
Couldn’t wait to sink
His Pike inside her
_____________________
That’s when I—
Heard my tall
Handsome husband
Moan & groan—
The way he did
When he lost it
That’s when—
I snuck up &
Shot them dead
____________________
I used his own—
Rabbit-hunting
Stinking killer rifle…
I buried them—
Both down deep in
Court Green Cemetery
And reported—
Them gone and
Poor me all alone
_______________
An abused abandoned—
Wife of an adulterous
Gigolo husband
Everybody nodded—
Knowingly, he’d always
Been a Lady’s Man
Ever since his—
Randy Cambridge days
People shook their heads
_______________
I played the sad—
Distraught abandoned
Widow game rather…
Cool & nicely—
I thought & stayed
There at Court Green
I played it well—
The grieving widow poet’s
Sad bitter Violin
___________________
Faber felt sorry—
Miss Eliot took me
Under her wing
After all, my dears—
His marriage wasn’t
The happiest thing either
And so I published—
While the Fox, Hawk
Whore rotted slowly
_____________________
Down there beneath—
The Yew tree in my own
Backyard cemetery
I skipped London—
Yeats’ flat and all
That cold winter angst
Mommy Dearest—
Wanted me to come back
To America, of course
____________________
Why teach there—
At Smith though with
Prouty & the dykes?
I was British now—
With a stiff upper lip
And poetry to write
Big Daddy Lit—
It grew & grew
I became famous
_________________
Women’s Lib—
Was just beginning
The BBC loved me
I sneered at men—
Especially Mytholmroyd
Male putrid Pricks
My oeuvre grew—
I became famous
And infamous too
_________________
When Larkin turned—
The poet laureateship
Down, it was mine
Rather than—
Carol Ann Duffy
Or my tacky husband
From then on—
Butchy Britannia did
The Big Turnaround
___________________
I relished it—
The very first Lady
Poet Laureate
Lesbos reborn—
Founder of British
Sapphic Modernism
My pen sang—
While Ted & Assia
Rotted down below
___________________
So much for—
Big Daddy finally
Gone at last
And me, my dears?—
I didn’t even bother
To say Achoo!!!
Instead I became—
Who I’d always been
Ariel the Goddess at last!!!