The Applicant

The Applicant

“First, are you our
sort of person?”
—Sylvia Plath
The Applicant

First of all—are you straight?
Can you butch it up—look okay?
Do you lisp—do you mince?
Is your wrist—weak or strong?
Are your lips—rubbery?

Are you hetero—enough?
Do you cry—or act too fem?
Are you married—have kids?
Do you live—in the lovely suburbs?
Do you watch football—on weekends?

Or do you like—the opera instead?
Do you like to read—James & Proust?
Do you wilt, dissolve—if glared at?
Do you object—to the Plague?
Should we ship you off—to Auschwitz?

Do you mind the rack—and screw?
Are you waterproof—shatterproof?
Were you bullied—in high school?
Do you feel put-upon—like a Negro?
Are you allergic to gas—like a Jew?

Tell me sweetie—out of the closet?
You know what—we think of that!
Do you like being—de Chirico-esque?
Are you a nice—brainless mannequin?
Is your last resort—Head in Oven?